So there’s ignoramus WWL talk show host Spud McConnell today, red-faced, temples-throbbing, vein-popping, hysterical after he heard somewhere that the House and Senate were continuing to work on energy legislation, even though they knew full well that it wouldn’t pass in the other house of Congress.

Since I was forced to listen to Spud break wind through his pie hole while on hold for more than an hour, without the satisfaction of an opportunity to comment on his ignorance, I’ll post here, in a somewhat more strident (though deserved) tone, my response to what I heard today.

Hey Mr. mashed-Spud-for-brains: Welcome to the democratic process in the United States of America. Where have you been for the last 40-plus years of your life? Here’s a link to the U.S. Constitution. Maybe I’ll put a copy in the mail for you. You should try to read it some time. Or maybe School House Rock’s “I’m Just a Bill” is more your pace.

Meanwhile, as much as you like to rant about how both the Democrats and the Republicans are to blame for intransigence in Congress (and then allow Republican apologists to assert their party’s superiority), your unsubstantiated criticism plays right into the strategy of both parties. They love people like you who diminish elections into a horse race of lesser evils rather than decisions based upon fact-based policy discussions.

It wouldn’t matter one iota whether there were 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6 political parties, as long as our society doesn’t work to create an informed electorate, and to provide a public square in valuable mass forums, including WWL radio, where policy discussions can be fostered in an environment of civil discourse.

You harrassed Representative Charlie Melancon for working on the Energy Security Act — even though he doubted it would pass in the Senate — and for collaborating with Senator Mary Landrieu to try to encourage the House and Senate to reconcile the differences in their respective bills, but you never gave him an opportunity to talk about the substance of the legislation, or what the challenges are to its passage.

Then you allowed a high-ranking official in the Louisiana Republican Party to vacuously launch into an unchallenged tirade, completely detached from the discussion at hand, that small government is the answer — no matter that every half hour, all day long, your news headlines were reporting on the biggest government bailout in U.S. history of corporate profiteers who should instead go to jail. Big government is evil, until big corporations need the government — i.e., the taxpayers — to bail them out. Is that it, Spud?

Undermining your own argument for more offshore energy exploration, you complained that if Louisiana could keep more of its offshore royalties, we wouldn’t need to beg the federal government for help to restore barrier islands and wetlands. For states concerned about the costs of offshore drilling, all they have to do is look at how screwed Louisiana is. All they have to do is look at the carnage of Louisiana’s wetlands, carved up by the oil and gas industry. All they have to do is listen to the desperate story of coastal fishers, shrimpers, and oyster harvesters to understand how big government bailouts are only for the corporate elite, not for the working class — not for Louisiana. All they have to do is listen to your own show, and to the arguments you, yourself, made about what little respect Louisiana gets, despite the fact that 30 percent of the nation’s oil and gas production passes through our state from the Gulf of Mexico.

Is it any wonder, Spud, why other states might object to legislation which makes it easier to open up their coasts to offshore drilling?

You see, Spud, when you shut down conversation, and allow tired old partisan ideology to frame the discussion, rather than facts, you do harm to the cause of creating an informed electorate.

You want to see change in Washington, Spud?

Start doing your frikking job, or stick to playing Bubba on stage!

And yeah, Spud, I was also going to encourage your guests and listeners in the seafood business by saying that I had one of the best shrimp po-boys ever down in Houma yesterday, on my way to see how the recovery is going in Dulac after Hurricane Ike. I was going to say that, for anyone who’s never tried Louisiana shrimp, the first time is like discovering that you’ve been eating dog food all your life. I was going to say that there’s a lot more to the issue of offshore oil and gas exploration which is severely impacting the livelihoods of coastal residents, and which merits discussion.

But there wasn’t time for any of it, Spud, because you just never shut your fat, flatus-filled mouth!